My Longest Year

my proud little homeowner

 

A couple of weeks ago, Evyn was flipping through her National Geographic for Kids magazine and came upon a "gingerbread" house she just had to make.  Fond of the magazine-inspired creative process myself, I was anxious to help her vision come true.  The magazine featured fancy gumdrops and smarties and pretty coconut flakes, and as I wandered the baking aisle I realized this fun little project was going to get expensive.  So we improvised.  The marshmallows were 98 cents, and I needed to buy frosting for Ashlyn's cake anyway.

Basically, I scoured the pantry for stuff we already had and set it out for her to go to town with.  Her favorite-est were these duck and rabbit sprinkles from an easter package we still had.  I mean, surely this isn't the first time you've seen rabbits on a roof, right?

I was the messy contractor who slapped the walls and roof together rather precariously with joints of globby icing.  The prettiest parts of this house are all Evyn's handiwork. 

Links of Interest: Easy Alternatives to Gingerbread Houses;  Gingerbread House Lesson Plan (Gr. 3-5)

 

my baby turned one

Here she is.  My one-year-old, as of yesterday.  Where did the time go? I understand how it happens - how people have baby after baby.  Who would want the baby-ness to end?  The squishy cheeks and pudge-feet and squealy delight and mischeviousness.  I certainly don't.  I can understand how "the baby" of the family is treated like the Forever-Baby, innocent and younger than the rest, somehow less culpable and more innocent no matter what the age. 

I find myself much more relaxed with Ashlyn, not wanting her to learn too fast, to grow up too soon, to ever get older.  People ask me if she's walking yet.  "No!" I exclaim, almost horrified, shivering at the thought that my bitty baby, who stomps as she crawls (its the cutest to watch her head bob side to side with every step) is someday soon going to get around on two feet, become a toddler. 

She is getting more adorable by the minute.  She has such a different personality than Evyn, though they're both the most lovely kids and mom could ever parent.  Ashlyn is less verbal, more physical.  She likes to cuddle, and head-butt, and be tickled.  If she knows you and likes you, she'll give you a squishy face.  When she's proud of herself, she'll clap, and wait for you to return the congratulations.

She doesn't give too much of herself away in public, frustrating passersby who want her to babble or smile or somehow perform.  She is intently curious and reserved in every situation with strangers, and she saves the best of herself and her personality for her family and home.  And she is most happy there, at home, safe with the people and things she knows best.  We frequently find her splayed out on the floor, kicking her feet in contentment.

We'll have to baby-proof more diligently with Ashlyn than we did with Evyn.

Evyn caught on to rules and no-nos very quickly.  I only had to make a buzzer noise one time and she'd walk away.  That just eggs Ashlyn on, who has a knack for finding the most dangerous or most expensive items in the house to play with.  See this pointy, sharp, heavy thing?  Evyn would instinctively know to avoid it.  It's Ashlyn's favorite thing to mess with (I've moved it).

Of course, as I type this, Ashlyn is chewing on the cord to my laptop.  Wait, she's moved on to chewing Evyn's toes.  You might think that's gross.  I think it's  hilarious.  She adores Evyn, and it's only more obvious the more she messes with her.

We celebrated the day rather simply.  Evyn and Daddy baked a cake for her.

And while we had to coax and prod Evyn into touching her very first cake, Ashlyn had no problem digging in.

She is.  My Doll-Baby.  Happy Birthday, Squishy Sweetness. 

 

he was a soldier once

Did I ever tell you James joined the Guard after he got out of the Army?  Well, he did.  The details would bore you but he will not deploy overseas within the first two years of his commitment, and he won't likely stay in the Guard longer than a year or two.

Last week he went out of town on an MI training.  He was to wear his ACUs every day again and needed to finally put on all his badges, while at the same time updating the badges for his dress blues.  Those badges are a bit shiny - doesn't this one look like a McDonald's toy?

I'd never seen this badge before.  It's a combat badge.  Turns out James was shot at by snipers who weren't that good at sniping.  I was a little surprised, and I guess in the grand scheme of things over there I shouldn't have been.  James wasn't infantry, but his team was kind of left to fend for themselves out there quite a bit.  I knew there had been lots of "incidents" - involving bombs and snipers and fire support (or whatever its called when bradleys suddenly show up to level a building for you).  But James was so exhausted from it all by the end that he never got around to telling me everything.  And I guess none of it seemed extraordinary or newsworthy at the time; after all, this is just how it was over there.

But watching him pack up his ACUs for the trip, reflecting on the seven years we spent as a military family in the Bush administration, and reading through the archives here, it dawns on me how extraordinary our life really was.  And we miss it sometimes.   

Evyn barely remembers.  And Ashlyn will never really appreciate it.  That their father was a soldier once.

When James returned I asked him what it was like to wear his ACUs everyday again.  It was just a week of training in the Guard, but he said he felt important--a sense of pride--because the uniform stood for something.  I understood.  He's still finding his way, his sense of purpose, as a civilian.  We both are, a little.  Our life is exactly what we wanted for our kids - ordinary and calm.  With room to breathe.   No more last-minute orders and upheavals and good-byes. 

It was difficult, and we wouldn't go back to it, but we can't help but look back sometimes.  It was, after all, an honor.

And for those still serving - take a moment to pray for their peace and strength and safety.

Some military blogs: Christine (whose hubby just returned home after 15 months - go congratulate them!!!); Lucy (whose husband is Nat'l Guard and deployed again); Mary (OIF widow)

birthday linens

So, someone is turning one year old soon.  I know - EEK!  Per tradition, we will be going to Nashville just before Thanksgiving to celebrate with friends and family.  Which means I need to whip up a set of birthday linens.  These are the fabrics I've chosen for her (including a bit of green you can barely see squished in the middle of the stack there). 

I love these colors--especially the brown with tiny dots.  I hope I still love them several years from now as they'll be Ashlyn's birthday decorations for the next few years. 

When Evyn turned one I was a mess.  James was set to deploy just a few days after her party and I was nervous and anxious and it seemed like everything had to be just perfect.  Just in case.  Just in case it was the only birthday he ever celebrated with her.  It seems terrible to even see that written, but that one, horrible thought was always there, underscoring the way we spent our time together all those days leading up to his final departure.  Our future was completely out of my control.  So, per usual, I hyper-focused on the things that were in my control, which meant balloons and fresh flowers and fabric.

It seemed a little over-the-top at the time to dress all the tables and doorways in fabric - the party store would have been just fine, I guess.  But since then we've reused these fabrics several times.

By next year, I'm sure Evyn will want a specific theme - something horrifying like Barbie or Hannah Montana or Cinderella blech.  But it's been fun bringing out these fabrics every year, and we've quite unexpectedly created a little personalized tradition - each will have her own set of birthday linens.

We've also bought personalized vinyl banners to bring out every year.  One suggestion I read in the review section of the online store I originally bought this from was to trace the birthday girl's hand on the banner every year for posterity.  So that's now become our tradition at the end of the evening.  The banners are a little generic, but they were inexpensive - around $20.

 

When I've finished sewing up the decorations, I'll post a little tutorial.  You'd be surprised how easy it all is - and there are no-sew options as well for those of you without sewing machines.

a most gracious loser and a win for equality

I can't stand to lose at board games.  In fact, I'll usually quit before I do.  Ask my husband.  As soon as things start going south in Monopoly or Hearts or Gin (even Yahtzee), I start to twitch and whine and negotiate.  If he doesn't give me wiggle room score-wise, I give up altogether and concede without finishing out the game.  I am the ultimate Sore Loser.

Which is why I was brought to tears last night watching John McCain's most gracious and endearing concession speech.   I could take a page from his book the next time I lose Yahtzee.

First he congratulated Obama with genuine admiration: "...his success alone commands my respect for his ability and perseverance. But that he managed to do so by inspiring the hopes of so many millions of Americans who had once wrongly believed that they had little at stake or little influence in the election of an American president is something I deeply admire and commend him for achieving."

Then he asked us to unite with his former opponent: "I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together..."

He took accountability: "And though we fell short, the failure is mine, not yours."

He went on to call the campaign "the great honor of [his] life" and wished Godspeed to Obama while respectfully and dutifully calling him "my president."

I even caught a glimpse of the POW War Hero as he declared that we "Americans never quit.  We never surrender." I almost wanted to salute him right there from my couch .

I am a proud Republican (yes, I said it.  Out loud.  On my blog.  Call the blog-police).  But I am an even prouder American.  And while I wish we would have gotten to see that great man and hero as our next president, I am equally proud of the history we have made in electing Obama.  I was filled with emotion last night as I realized what a giant step this is for African-Americans.  How this is their moment.  A moment some thought would never--could never-- happen in their lifetime. 

Today as I pulled up to Evyn's preschool, one of her teachers, African-American, was chatting excitedly on the phone.  "I'll have to call you back in a bit.  After class I'm going to pick up the New York Times."  She was beaming.  I just had to say something (you know me).  "Mrs. C, I just wanted to say congratulations.  You must be so excited about the history that's been made.  I'm really happy for you."  She took my congrats with a big grin and "thank you" and told me I was the first person to say that to her.  She said she had been up all night, she was so excited.  I could actually feel her excitement.

Later I took the girls to the post office and Evyn started chatting up the lady in line behind us, who was gracious enough to entertain Evyn's conversation.  She happened to be African American.  Evyn expressed her utmost desire to be Cinderella.  To which the woman replied with smiling eyes and in a most sincere and deliberate tone, "You can be anything you want to be."

Cinderella herself would agree:

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

Thanks to the barriers that were broken last night, I can believe that it's possible my girls may someday soon have their own role model in the White House.  And that they really can be anything they want to be.  Even the President.

Links of Interest: Slate:  Class Act - McCain's Respectful Concession Speech; The Root - What Obama Means for America;  John McCain's concession speech;  Barack Obama's victory speech 

 

halloween, part 2

I bet you think that as a crafty, creative person, and amateur sew-er, I have a hayday with Halloween.  I don't. Maybe it's because I'm usually busy planning for other things...Evyn's birthday, now Ashlyn's birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  Halloween just gets totally squeezed out.  I'm sure as the girls get older, their enthusiasm will motivate me to do a little more with it, but for now I could skip it altogether.

My mom, on the other hand, made it an annual tradition to sew all of our costumes.  All of them.  She recently sent them back to me to rummage through and store, and just last week she sent a small scrapbook of them:

Most years, Lora and I were dressed alike.   I'm not sure how our costumes were decided, or how we came to agree on a costume.  If I had to guess, in those early years Lora just did whatever I wanted.

We were flowers, and pilgrims, and cheerleaders.  This is as close to pop-culture as we got: remember the California Raisin commercials?  Here's Lora (and ((shiver)) our brown couch):

 
That was one of her most memorable costumes.  And pretty elaborate, too - my mom had to create all those raisin-y wrinkles and gathers by hand.

Here's me in my first costume as a baby clown:

Ashlyn wasn't as thrilled about the costume:

It was missing that adorable clown-collar, and it was a little snug.  But we made it work.

I tried and tried to get a cutie-smiley picture of her.  She was mostly just annoyed with me.

To the extent that she eventually climbed down and charged at me in all seriousness.  I could almost hear her grumbling under her breath.

This ended in a sort of camera tug of war between Ashlyn and I.  Ashlyn won.  Must learn to practice photography skills on still life.

Later in the evening she helped me answer the door in this little costume.  She was in a better mood after her nap.

Evyn was a very reluctant Belle.

She loved the costume (actually, a play dress already in her closet).  And she literally watched the clock for half an hour waiting for Trick or Treat time with Daddy.  But after two houses she got stage fright and told James she didn't want to go to all the houses anymore.  My neighbor (who was traveling along with them) tried to coax her and apparently Evyn was insistent that she didn't have to do anything she didn't feel comfortable doing.  You gotta love a kid with boundaries.

My mom's little scrapbook reminded me that I want to be better about handing down stories to my children.  I stumbled across this FREE online workshop by Jessica Sprague that I wanted to point out to you.  Although she's hostess to a digital scrapbooking site, Jessica designed this workshop for everyone and anyone, scrapbooker or not.  Her backstory on this workshop will ring true with many of you. 

halloween, part 1

 

The night before Halloween we had a sort of Family Night.  James brought home the fixings to make a halloween treat that was way too sweet, but fun to make anyway.

  

Do these look like ghosts to you?  Evyn did the chocolate-chip-adorning, so some of them came out looking like ghosts and some wound up looking like...well, not ghosts.
 

 

After Ashlyn went to bed we snuggled up on the couch to watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!  I love that we all spent time as a family doing something together. These are words that Evyn has been using and emphasizing over and over in conversation lately - "family," "spend time," "together."  Either she knows how important it is to me, or it's equally important to her.  I've long sensed that one of her love languages is quality time.  She seems to revel in all those moments we have together - at the dinner table, or on a shopping trip, or even just tumbling around in her room.  She reflects out loud, telling us she loves her family, giving us extra hugs and smiles, nodding and approving that we're there - with her.  There's something about time as a family - or even one-on-one, hat reminds us we're not alone in this world, and, likewise, that the world doesn't revolve around any one of us.  We belong to and take care of each other. 

I don't take it for granted that we are together as a family now, a whole unit made up of so very different parts.  There was a time I wondered (worried, really) how it all would go.  But now we're here.  Together. I love that Evyn doesn't take it for granted, either.  And I sense even Ashlyn appreciates the relative security of being one of us.

dress up a can of tomato soup

Sick as a dog today and barely managing.  But managing, nonetheless.  Wanted to pop in and say hi with a cheater recipe.

If you know me at all you know that I am totally into cheating, or at least doing things the easy way if possible.  Over the years I've found some ways to check the "made dinner for family" box without having to actually cook too much.  I happen to love tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, but I always feel like the soup is missing something (hard to imagine that plopping a can of condensed soup into a warm pot isn't "homemade enough," isn't it?).

So here's what you do:

1. using a little olive oil, saute a couple of tablespoons of onion.

2. add the soup and MILK (don't use water, ick).

3. add minced baby carrots to taste (about 4 or 5). The trick here is to add a little flavor and chunk without cluttering the soup too much.

4. Simmer on low to allow the carrots to cook, careful to stir so milk doesn't burn. 

5. Top with parmesan cheese and basil. 

Add a stack of golden-delicious grilled cheese sandwiches and enjoy!  James, who is notoriously difficult to please, even enjoys this comfort meal.

four (sniff, sniff)

That's right, everyone.  My baby is four.  Those of you who've been reading along for a couple of years now...can you believe how the time has passed?

     

The cool thing about fall birthdays is all the options for parties - costumes or pumpkin painting or in this case - a pumpkin patch.  This year we decided to host a party in the "Back Forty" at a working farm and pumpkin patch - Vollmer Farm in Bunn, North Carolina.  If you have young children and you live within an hour (or even two) of this place, I highly recommend spending a day there.  There are almost too many things to list that make this place awesome (but that won't keep me from trying): homemade icecream and pumpkin pies, the underground slide, a tractor-pulled train, the zip line, corn crib, and the awesomest pumpkin jumpy thing ever.

We got there early and snatched a couple of picnic tables close to a large tree and small pond.  It was absolutely charming.  

 

I wanted to post all seventeen hundred photos right here on the front page, but I thought that might be just a little hideous, so I've posted them HERE in a handy little photo album.

Click to view: Evyn's Birthday at the Pumpkin Patch    

Take better photos: a link list

Thank you for all the great comments on my last post and wonderful compliments (although I promise I wasn't going for that).  I really just wanted to encourage you moms to include yourselves in the family album every once in a while.

If you're trying to think of an opportune time to get a snapshot, try a few of these times:

• Right after church or holiday program - once you've taken those killer shoes off and you're relaxed on the livingroom floor 
• After work, outside in the grass (light is less harsh in the afternoon).
• The next playdate with the kids (hand your friends the camera and tell them to scoot in close).

• Dropping your kids off at school (or picking them up); sit on the floor indian-style with them in your lap.

And by the way, THIS even totally counts as a picture with your kid:

You don't have to have a fancy camera.  Pay more attention to the light in the room (use natural light when you can and try like heck to avoid using the flash); how much background "crap" you have in the shot (move in close), and RELAX - pictures are even better when they're NOT posed.

Here are a few links to quick articles:   

All You: Take Fabulous Family Photos (and say that three times fast)

Real Simple: Take a Better Family Photo

HP: Take Better Photos - Family Portraits (and here's their Photography Tips section)

And since I know you all will be doing the dreaded Christmas photo soon, here's an article by Me Ra Koh Photography (a very practical blog for you budding photography-moms out there): Bribing Kids for the Perfect Christmas Photo

get in the picture, already!

 

If you're like me, you have hundreds of pictures of your children, of your children with your husband, of your children with your parents, of your children with the neighbor - with the neighbor's dog - but only about four of you with your children.  

You say it's because you're the family photographer and historian - no one ever thinks to take the camera out of your hands and take a picture.  But if you are, in fact, like me, the real reason is you hate your profile:

 My dad always told me I had a ski slope for a nose (which, by the way, is totally HIS nose). 

Or maybe you dread the obligatory double, sometimes triple, chin (does anyone see a neck in this picture?):

 

Or - Or - you have some physical defect you stay blissfully unaware of until you see pictures of yourself.  I have one that is actually literally exacerbated by pictures.  I was born with several unrelated defects in my right eye (a congenital eyelid ptosis and Duane's Syndrome) and between the surgery for the ptosis and the syndrome itself, and depending on camera flash or the direction I am looking in, it's phenomenally worse:

 

You can see it a little bit here.  I only recently learned the name for it (Duane's Syndrome); it's supposedly rare.  A good half of every picture I take, if at the wrong angle, highlights the disparity between my eyes, and sometimes looks ghoul-ish.  So I tend to avoid being photographed.  

But I've recently realized I need to get in the picture already. 

On this day, the light was good.  And I had bothered to put on a little makeup for dinner out with friends.  And so I begrudgingly gave up creative control and handed over the camera to my husband.  Yeah, there were some blurry shots.  And fakey smiles.  And a bunch where one of us wasn't looking at the camera. 

But there were also those precious few.

 

The ones I'll look back and love not because they're picture-perfect and frame-ready.  But because they remind me of the way we were.

 

  

 

See how the baby almost looks like an afterthought in the above picture?  Like I'm barely hanging on to her? Oh well.  At least we have one of the three of us.

Evyn turned four last weekend and we went to a pumpkin farm (pics to come).  I gave the camera to James.  See my Special Occasion Pimple?  Back in the day I called it The Wedding Zit because it always, without fail, showed up when I was in a wedding.  Right there.  In the middle of my forehead.  What's that?  You don't see it?  Trust me, it's there.  (which brings up another point: sometimes no one notices all that stuff but you)

 

My solution to those kind of days?  Turn to the side and do a kissy face.

  

Or just play.

There's that nose.  Grr.  Oh well.  I look like I'm having fun with my baby, don't I?  That's what I'll remember when I revisit these pictures the day Ashlyn leaves for college...

I wanted one with Evyn, too.  I have a number of pictures like this:

  

But I eventually got this:

  

So here's your challenge this week. Take advantage of a day when you've bothered to put on some blush, and go outside or get near a window and hand someone the camera.  Tell the picture-taker to just snap away while you fart around with the kids and try not to worry too much about your hair and your chin(s) and the fat roll.  You'll look better if you just relax a little.  Yes, it's kind of a hassle.  It takes a few minutes that you'd rather be putting toward the dishes or dinner or a phone call.  And you'll have to take thirty pictures to get three you love.  But you'll have them.  And your kids will have them. And if you're a blogger, your readers will get to take a look at ya once in a while (if you dare to post them).

evyn's pocket family

 

Here they are: already scratched up (note to self: seal the paint before giving to little hands to bang together), and missing their fabric pouch. I ran out of time and thought if I waited until I re-touched their paint and sewed their sure-to-be-adorable little pouch, this post would never make it to the blog.  So here they are. Basically, imperfect and half-done, just like us.

 

I decided not to paint faces, opting instead for Evyn to use her imagination.  We also bought a house-shaped display shelf that we're going to let Evyn decorate some wintery afternoon.  That's her new thing - decorating.  In part because she sees me shuffling things around here all the time.  

I know we can't entirely escape all things plastic and Disney and literal, but I have long thought that every kid's toy collection should include items that require imagination (blocks can be food or building materials or game pieces, for instance), things made of natural materials, and items that are personal and can be handed down.  Her pocket family wasn't the show-stopper on her birthday; that prize went to the plastic purple keyboard and Barbie laptop I hate myself for giving her.  But she does treasure them, and someday she'll appreciate the effort and creativity I put into it.  

These make excellent gifts for both boys and girls, and if you're creative but don't want to take a stab at painting, you can buy a custom set already painted (or half-painted), or just order a completely natural set and sew a little roll-up pouch for them.   For the girly-girl, try these adorable little necklaces.  Speaking of natural materials, browse Casey's Wood products to spark your handmade gift-giving imagination.

Links of Interest: Learning Through Play

sneak peek: my littlest project

To become a birthday gift for Evyn.  Do you see what I see?

 edit: I had a good laugh at the "fifth one somewhere" comment.  NO, sorry, there is not a little one in mommy's tummy.  She's just a bit, er, curvy.  I was just hoping y'all would guess that this is our little family. ;)

wordless wednesday

signed, Evyn

 

I never intended for her bedroom to be yellow - she was supposed to share a room with Ashlyn, remember?  That room is painted a restful, calm lavender. This room is playful, buttery yellow because, well, it was supposed to be a play room.  But Ashlyn didn't sleep well with extra noise.  So Evyn got this room.  And she loves it.  Her bedding is playful, too.  And the room was begging for a big piece of playful art.

Enter Evyn.  She was totally up for the challenge:

   

I started the canvas by painting it a bold color, toned down with a bit of white.  Then I added some of the same dotty-starry detail from her bedding.  And she promptly painted over it.

 

I loved that she had such a clear idea what she wanted to do.  She was so proud of it.  It was the first thing she wanted to show everyone when they came over that week.

For fun, we added a little "fairy dust" to the wettest parts.  I showed her how to shake the canvas around to scatter all the sparklies.  Once it was completely dry, I "framed" it with a scalloped edge.

  

Looking back, I think my favorite thing is that it's a collaboration between the two of us. Maybe next summer we'll paint it again, or even add to it with bits of leaves or buttons or pictures.   

Very homemade.  But charming, and personal. Totally Evyn.

Links of Interest: Mothers & Daughters at Home: 35 Projects to Make Together (by Charlotte Lyons); The Creative Familyby Amanda Soule; Kids Craft Weekly Creative Gift Guide

gratuitous

Okay, still not a real post.  But every time I go into my picture editing software I run across this photo and love it.  So I thought I'd paste it to one of my favorite places: here.

Technical issues have been figured out by Dell's very thorough technical support.  If it weren't such a welcome surprise to be greeted and taken care of by computer people so well, I would have been annoyed by how zealously they took the problem-solving process (I think I counted FOUR follow-up calls).  Did Dell go through some kind of customer service overhaul recently or something?

I'll be back with some art...